Top Ten things I Learned at College

1. When the teacher asks you a question you weren't prepared for, clutching your chest and dropping to the floor is not an acceptable response.
2. Nor is pleading the Fifth.
3. If you're thoughts at this point are "With any luck, he doesn't speak Klingon either", you really should have done the assigned reading.
4. A bathrobe is not appropriate classrooms attire.
5. Nor is S&M gear.
6. While debate is encouraged, "Burn him! He a witch" is not an accepted rhetorical technique.
7. There is no appropriate time for a spontaneous musical number.
8. When the teacher if there is a nickname you prefer, do not say "I go by Lord Melchior Awesomesauce, Grand Master of all I survey but you may call me Your Greatness."
9. A blank test with a $20 bill stapled to it will get you an incomplete.
10. However, a blank test with a $100 bill stapled to it is the key to maintaining that 4.0 GPA.